Return of the Inevitable

I had abandoned this blog for a long while, partially because I was in grad school and my life was more consumed with homework then dating, but mostly because the idea of chronicling my Sienfeld-esque romantic life was just a little bit depressing. I mean honestly, the amount of time I spent writing these blogs started to feel self-defeating, like putting it out there for the world to see made it all too real that this is how my love life worked. However, in the year and a half since we last spoke I have dated, much to the same outcomes as we had seen before. But it was lonelier, like now that all my friends are in relationships, my dating fiascoes were no longer funny, but pitiful (they always had a strong hint of the pitiful, but whatever). In the past, my friends were always laughing along with me because most of them could relate in some way, but now that they are all inching closer to marriage and I am still no closer then I was at birth, they use my unfortunate stories as reassurance that whatever may be wrong in their relationship, its better then being SINGLE. Which brings me back here. Whoever may actually stumble upon this accidentally can read it and judge me however they like, but at least I don't have to grin and bare it like I do with most of my friends.

To catch you up, I have since finished my graduate degree and moved to Chicago in hopes that being closer to my family would do me some good. The jury is still out on that. I adore being closer to my family and I love my job which is more then I could say in LA, though socially, Chicago is a very different monster. There is something about the Midwest that makes people want to be couples. Everywhere you turn, there are dysfunctional relationships holding on for dear life because the alternative seems too bleak and sad a state of affairs. I have never been wired like this. Even in the midst of all these horrendous dating adventures, I have never thought that something was better then nothing. To me, being alone and content with life was better then being in a relationship that made me want to pull my hair out. That has put me in a precarious position as one of the few single people I actually know in this city. To make matters more frustrating, even though my friends are all in relationships, even the most amazing boyfriends have no friends to speak of that are even half way interesting to me. Which means that to hang out with my friends I am always the odd wheel. That gets old pretty quickly.

Of my few single friends, I have some fantastic life support. Witty, fun, wonderful women that make me rethink heterosexuality on a regular basis because life would be so much easier if we could just have beautiful little commitment ceremonies and adopt Asian babies. But alas, I would miss penis and boy smell and all those other things that make me inexplicably attracted to men. Therefore I continue to date and fall on my face over and over again like those birds that continually fly into windows because they don't understand the concept of glass. Maybe some day I will knock myself unconscious and wake up a functional dater, but for now, I'll just continue to bless you with the shortcomings of my love life in what I hope is equal parts humorous and cathartic.