By George, I think I've got it!

I have made a new and important discovery that will change the face of my dating life forever. It seems that the funny feeling I get in my stomach (otherwise known as butterflies) when I am with a boy I really like is not the hints of interest and passion that I have been confusing them with for so long. It is actually a sophisticated early-detection system that is indicating to me that this is a boy that will soon go running screaming into the night (sometimes literally, but that's a different post). Interestingly, the more intense the feeling, the quicker this fleeing will occur. And if there is actually physical contact, for example a kiss, that intensifies or prolongs said butterflies, the flight becomes even more inevitable, and possibly accelerated.

This is an amazing discovery. Looking at it now, with all of this scientific evidence piling up, it seems so obvious. How I have gone 26 years without noticing the correlation is unbelievable. I have done some intense study on this issue in the past few weeks and the evidence is conclusive. However, I may be the only model that has been implanted with this detection system. It seems in some people, butterflies actually do mean interest and passion. For me, on the other hand, it is a clear indication of imminent flight. Similarly, the lack of butterflies, indicates a boy that will continue to pursue long after I have tired of him.

On the surface, it seems that a discovery such as this should alter all future dating prospects. Knowing what I know now, logically I should modify every theory I currently employ while looking for my next perspective date. Realistically, however, I'm obviously not that bright. Instead, this discovery is going to go where many have gone in the past, filled away under the good ideas that no one paid attention to.