A little ex-boyfriend stalking...

I just did something so beyond ridiculous that I don't even know how to justify it to myself or anyone else. Sometimes, my own dysfunction is even beyond my comprehension.

I have known since I moved to LA that my ex-boyfriend from college lives out here with his girlfriend. I have had no desire to see him whatsoever; especially since the girlfriend was never my biggest fan (she went to college with us too). It was sort of an abrupt relationship. Hot and heavy for two months, then a really odd sexual encounter, ending with me moving to Ireland for 6 months and us breaking up. When I got back from Ireland, he was dating her, she automatically despised me, and we really never talked much after that. He decided to move out here when he graduated (he's one of those film guys) so she transferred to Loyola to be with him. Other then seeing them at the Grove once, where I successfully hid behind my champagne glass and they never saw me, I have heard little of either of them since.

Then something came over me about a month ago. On a lark, I googled his name, just to see what would come up. And something came up. His engagement announcement. To her. It was bound to happen. I'm just not really sure why I needed to know about. I then noticed in the announcement that it said she worked in nonprofit in LA. It’s not that vast of an industry out here, so it took me 2.2 to find out where. It’s some organization up in the valley that works on civic engagement programming. Which all sounds vaguely familiar since I work(ed) for a nonprofit organization that did civic engagement programming. It seemed odd that my life had inadvertently taken such a similar path to this woman.

And today, I started the insanity. I was being very good today, sending out resumes and cooking my lunch, as I had promised in my previous post. And I came across a job posting that I had absolutely no interest in, until I looked at the organization. It was the very same organization that said woman works at. So, I sent in a resume, and they wrote me back. I think I'm just curious. To go in, have an interview, and "accidentally" bump into her. Is she the same as she was in college? Would she remember me? Does she still hate me? I absolutely recognize the stalkerish qualities of all of this, I just couldn't help myself.

The organization is interested and reviewing my resume. Hopefully, they won't ask me in for an interview. I just don't think I could quell my curiosity enough to say no.