How do you break up with your therapist?

Yes, it’s true, I am another Los Angeles cliché. I go to therapy. Basically, I think its about the fact that I'm a yenta. I like to talk, I talk a lot, and sometimes its nice to have an unbiased opinion about whatever it is I feel like talking about.

But it might be time to cut my losses. I've been going to my therapist for over a year now. She's on odd one. Late 50s, wacky Jewish mother type, Berkeley lovechild. I've always known she was a little bit off, but mostly I've liked her. There have been moments when I've felt like she wasn't getting me. She also has a tendency to talk a little bit too much about her. I know more about her drug addicted 17-year-old then I really need to. Then today, there was an incident.

I see her every two weeks, so she had heard about PDG, but hadn't heard of the pre-break up phone call. I started to talk about the situation and how it upset me was because I felt like he was rejecting me based on my personality (which, as I have said, seems highly unlikely). She interrupts and starts asking me questions, the normal therapy banter. And then she says something that for the life of me I can not find any therapeutic value in. She asks me if I think PDG might have broken up with me because I am a "larger woman," her exact words. I'm not a skinny girl, but I ain't no Mama Cass either. I've always labored under the pretense that any guy who approaches me and dates me is attracted to me, at least in part, because of the way I look. Why exactly is my therapist trying to give me a complex? I know what I look like. I see what size my clothes are. And you know what? PDG knows what I look like. He knew when he met me at the party. He knew when we went out for drinks. He even knew when he called me for the second date. Where is the logic in suggesting that he then decided I was too fat?

More importantly, where is the logic in bringing that up to a patient who obviously already has some self confidence issues, but has worked through the weight thing enough to be okay with herself? I'm at a loss as to why this conversation even happened. What was I supposed to do with that? Even if that is why he stopped seeing me, what exactly can I do about that? I'm never going to know why exactly he broke it off. Unless I start instituting exit interviews for all my boyfriends, there are some things I'll never have definite answers for. Somehow, though, encouraging me to psychoanalyze a guy I barely know to find out if he's been socialized into thinking I am unattractive seems a little counter productive to the concept of therapy.

But how do you break up with your therapist? And is this one horrible session really reason enough to end a year long relationship that overall I have felt pretty good about? I'm not sure I can feel comfortable talking to her about relationships anymore because now I feel like she is assuming my weight is the reason for all my failures in dating. And then there is the horrendous task of finding a new therapist, or just giving up all together.

This is so frustrating. If I wanted to feel fat, I would have just called my grandmother. It would have been a lot cheaper.