Olympic Champion of Social Ineptitude

No stupid mistakes on Saturday, but definitely a realization that I need to be more on the ball.

Pizza Delivery Guy (I actually just wrote that as Pizza Delivery Goy, which is kind of funny, because he is in fact a goy and does not actually deliver pizza) is still in the picture. Normally the dates are so horrendous I am left wondering if I need to change my cell phone number or move to a small island in the Philippines. After our awkward, but overall enjoyable date, I was actually looking forward to hearing from PDG again. When I hadn't heard from him by Tuesday (our date having been Friday) I called him Wednesday night when I was out with friends and asked if he wanted to join us for a drink. He said he was busy (with a pretty lame excuse) and I figured I was being blown off. To my surprise, however, he called the next Monday. He had an event he was going to and he invited me along.

I was thrown off when he said "Bring Friends." Alright, so it’s a group thing. I enlisted my roommate Lucky Bear to come with me. He sent me an email the next day with the details. Now the thing that through me off the most about this email, is the part that I can't really share, as actually putting up his name seems a little rude. But he signed his name like a frat boy nickname. Like if his name was Dan, it would have been signed D-Dog, or if his last name was Gilmore, it would have said Happy Gilmore. Do you see where I am going with this? Is that how you sign something to a girl you've gone out with once and have any interest in? When I called my best friend Dr. No, he dubbed PDG the Olympic Champion of Social Ineptitude. I've fully admitted my tendency toward dating the socially awkward, but I think Dr. No may be right. Its one thing to be completely obvious in your awkwardness, like close talking, or inappropriate touching, but this guy is stealth. He's completely normal in social settings, he just seems to have no concept of how to act around girls, or more specifically, me.

Lucky Bear and I decide to go to the event anyway, we're on a new kick of introducing ourselves to strangers, so this seemed like as good a time as any. And as Dr. No and I decided, it might be a good story to add to my collection. The event was fun, he seemed genuinely happy to see me. There were only two issues. One, this was a "meet the friends" event. Which I didn't know and was unprepared for. Apparently this was a work thing. That's fine, my social ineptitude is not so severe that I can't deal with that. Other then the fact that one of his girlfriends has an obvious thing for him and the daggers shooting from her eyes at me all night made me severely uncomfortable. Second, one of his friends, Jam, who was absolutely a sweetheart, was obviously the town gossip as well. Jam and I were the only two in this multitude of people who don't smoke (I quit a month ago, so I'm trying my best). Whenever everyone else went to smoke, he and I were left inside watching drinks. First conversation was normal, and then he went in the wrong direction.

Jam: What do you think of my boy?
Me: He's cool, this is only the second time we've hung out
Jam: You two look good together, I'm feeling it
Me: Yeah, I think we're both having a good time
Jam: Good, because that boy needs to get laid.

Let that sink in for a minute. Seriously. Just think about it.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO THAT? The kid hasn't even kissed me good night. Needless to say, this put me a little bit on edge.

PDG comes back, we talk, its fine. He never actually asks me about myself, which is a little off-putting (ex: I ask him what music he likes, he gives me a laundry list, and then just looks at me, when really, at that moment, it would be perfect to ask me what I like). It’s getting late, it’s a Wednesday night and I get the feeling PDG doesn't stay out partying too often. At midnight, he decides to go home. Lucky Bear is having a fabulous time (I think she gave out her number twice that night) so we aren't leaving. I walk him out and it’s the same as last time. Hugs me good bye, says we'll talk soon. I mention a friend who's a musician that's playing tonight. I tell him I'll email him the details, which I do. He wrote me back last night and said he couldn't make it because someone in his office was leaving and they were having a going away party. Side note on that - Jam has already called Lucky Bear and invited her to the same going away party; my invitation must be lost in the mail.

I'm completely at a loss on this one. Will he call? Is he interested? Are we buddies? Have these been dates? All of these are questions floating around in space with no discernable answers as of yet.